Quote of the day -

And I dream I'm an eagle
And I dream I can spread my wings
Flying high, high, I'm a bird in the sky
I'm an eagle that rides on the breeze
High, high, what a feeling to fly
Over mountains and forests and seas
And to go anywhere that I please

Bjorn Ulvaeus

Stephen Colbert's bald eagle destined for extinction

The international association of non-union ornithologists today announced that the bald eagle which screams dramatically as it closes in on its prey at the start of the Colbert Report will starve to death, alone and without a mate.

Prof. Cary N Esser of the Cronwell Bird Lab noted that any predator that screams before an attack gives its prey that critical millisecond to change its direction, literally and figuratively. He also noted that "Colbert's bird screams the mating call of the red-tailled hawk, not the warbling song of the truly majestic eagle that symbolizes our true nation."

Microarray studies reveal complex response networks

Professional scientist and computer expert, "Hands" Bonner declared today that computers and Arabidopsis micorarrays tell us all we need to know about life. more...

 
The magnolias are in bloom and bitter cold is on its way. Coincidence? I think not.
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Ever since record keeping began, the opening of the magnolia blooms in the midwest has brought with it killing frosts, leading to the death of these magnificent but exotic symbols of primitve sex. Why? Scientists have now found that magnolia flowers exert a powerful suction, strangely attracting all the cold in Canada. This year is no exception.
What can you do? The powerful Order of the Magnoliales and the Botanical Society of Canada both deny this is possible, but it is clearly true. Write your governmental representatives -or someone else's - today, no matter what country you live in. Tell them that not even global warming can stop this powerful force for evil.
Sunday, April 1, 2007

Jobs, Internships & Scholarships - Improving your c.v.

On-going links to job resources for undergraduates.

Plant hormones explained

More than 75 years after Frits Went bent his first coleoptile and Kogl and Haagen-Smit discovered plant hormones in their urine (now banned in internaitonal sport), the mechanisms of action of oxen and ABBA have finally been elucidated.

Don't forget the Songs

Kevin Ahern has done it again, and this month's song seems just perfect for my state while putting this page together, and (I hope not) for the way IBH students feel after a week of exams... Brainfarts just happen in my head.