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Nest Excavation How To

Nest Excavation Photos

A mosquito in my eye

Mosquito in my eye

Oh god damn that fly

She was so pretty,

Oh gee, what a pity.

Because I did kill her

As she did fill her

Gut with my blood,

And now she’s in the mud.

When I got malaria

I was filled with hysteria

And killed all those fuckers

Lizzie the Aussie Mozzie

Lizzie the Aussie mozzie

Was flying about one day;

She took a whiff of the wind

And looked around the bend.

She felt something was amiss,

Oh shit, an entomologist!

She evaded his swat

And landed in a cleared spot.

Yet again, something was not right,

And then she paled with fright,

Holey moley, look at all those Pheidole!

The ants closed in

And she took flight again

Leaving the ants to what they ate

A nice little tuna bait.

Again she spied the entomologist

Checking off species from a list.

She noticed a hole in his pants;

With food on her mind

She entered from behind

And had a nice blood dinner,

Making him a bit thinner.

Mosquito on a rock

Mosquito on a rock,

She’s always on the clock.

Looking for a meal,

My blood would be ideal.

Mosquito on my pants,

She’s doing a little dance.

Two legs go up,

And she goes in for a suck.

Mosquito on a flower,

She thinks she’s full of power

Then came a dragonfly,

And she kissed her ass goodbye!

I hate mosquitos

There once was a biologist sitting by a swamp eating a bag of Doritos ™…and then came the mosquitos.

He put on some DEET,

But forgot his feet

And so a fly

Sucked his toes dry.

They then moved to his face

And one into his mouth,

So after a cough

He sprayed-on some Off ™.

That stuff had little power

And kept them away for,

Uh, less than an hour.

He then felt hopeless,

The mosquitos were spastic.

But yes, he remembered,

“I’ve got Skintastic ™!”

They went through it like butter,

Faster than the Off Cutter ™.

What could stop their feeding?

“Quick! Before I die…I’m bleeding!”

Lemongrass oil?

Or perhaps a citronella coil?

But it was too late,

His blood wouldn’t coagulate.

He shuddered and fell,

And let out a loud yell…

“I hate mosquitos!”

If only a plop (inspired by some severe illness)

I feel like I’m going to die-

Arrhea happens if I start eating

But all I want is a bout of feeding.

I can’t hold water,

I can’t hold food,

If anything I consume

I’m off to the bathroom.

What if I took a chance

And had a little bite,

It can’t hurt, right?

Here goes a try,

It’s just a small fry.

Oh, it tastes so good

And smooth going down.

I wait a minute

And then another ten;

Should I eat yet again?

The answer: definitely not!

The pain, the cramps;

I start to feel hot…

And then I’m off to the pot.

While on the throne

I sing a little ditty

I learned when I was a kiddy:

“Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is”

Oh, if only a plop…

Created 11/03/04